Timmerov's Blog
secrets
i've got a secret. actually i have many secrets. but i have two secrets that are making me especially happy. that and my blog queue is empty. so i've gotta just babble something random so as not to miss a day. would be the first in long long time. go onlive!
love
i love you so much i will send my only son to be tortured and executed so you can be with me forever.
u make da call
runner on second. ground ball to the shortstop. shortstop muffs it. while retrieving the ball, the shortstop and runner collide. the shortstop gathers the ball. the runner safely gets to third. you make the call? clearly interference has occurred. but interference by whom, the runner or the shortstop? heh. don't ask me. i don't know the answer. rule #1. runners are out if they collide with a fielder fielding a live ball. i don't think this applies because the ball is no longer live as soon as a fielder touches it. rule #2. runners are out if they intentionally interfere with a catch or throw. i guess this could apply if the umpire rules the runner intentionally interfered with the fielder. the rule doesn't specifically mention activities by the fielder other than catching and throwing. but if it didn't apply then a runner should defend a non-live baseball near them so other runners can score. rule #3. runners may advance without jeopardy one base if their progress is impeded by a fielder who does not have the ball. i think this one wins. assuming the runner didn't intentionally smash into the shortstop.
"news"
fox news has established in the us supreme court that a media outlet can publish information they know is false and call it news. to me, the word news implies the content is a reasonable facsimile of the truth. granted breaking news should be sprinkled with caveats. we don't have all the details yet but this is what some people on the scene are speculating. for example. i totally believe that a media outlet should be able to broadcast anything it wants. just don't call it news if you know it's not. call it the colbert report. or not news. or fox entertainment. sheehs. the scotus ruled that there's no law that defines news. hopefully, the current or some near future congress can rectify that. if they don't, then we'll need to come up with some other word that means what news meant before its meaning was corrupted. which probably won't hold its meaning for as long as news held its. 2 days tops. any takers?
bumper switchers
so the other day i was in the packing lot at the grocery store. two cars backed out of two parking spots and bumped into each other. their bumpers aligned perfectly. so there was no real damage. except to their bumper stickers. they had gotten all mixed up. the drivers didn't seem to notice. but i did. unfortunately, they didn't say anything funny. now when i drive to work i play the bumper sticker switcheroo game. just to keep from getting really bored and trying out that air bag in the steering wheel. feel free to share your bumper sticker switcheroos. here are some of my favorites: my other care is student of the month. baby '08. if you think education is expensive, try abortion.
grandma
my grandmother fell down and broke her hip. she's not exactly the most cooperative patient. she thinks she's 50 and can do whatever she wants. her physical therapist gets upset when she hurls her walker away and takes off up or down the stairs. heh. i'm thinking a 92 year old woman who can hurl a walker just plain doesn't need it.
genius
men love bacon. women love kissing. so here's the idea: bacon flavored lip gloss. i'm gonna be so rich.
hmfd!
i'm sad. not a single person wished me a happy mother fucker's day. ah well. maybe next year.
sleep
why is it that the part of the night when i'm getting the highest quality sleep... is right before the alarm goes off?
cheat catcher
finding evidence of election tampering is pretty tricky. perpetrators generally don't fess up to it. there might be a few ways though. suppose that like us, the iranians voted on measures in addition to selecting a president. common sense says there should be a correlation between voting for ahmadinejad and voting for conservative issues. and a correlation between voting for mousavi and voting for moderate issues. this argument was used in a recent us election. certain counties voted 80% for democrats and left issues yet voted 80% for the conservative presidential candidate. nothing much came of it. other than a bunch of exasperated arm waving. cause it was pretty trivial to tamper with vote counts and not get caught. good thing we vote on secure systems now. oh wait. sigh. anywho, expect even less in iran. except maybe dead people.
ahmawinner
the election results coming out of iran look somewhat suspicious. let's assume they're bogus. but could they also be right? invoke shades of oj here. the cops (may have) framed a guilty man. the taliban... err ayatollah (may have) put in the fix for ahmadinejad. who may have actually won the popular vote. yeah that seems completely alien to us enlightened westerners. but never underestimate the voting power of religious conservatives. of the ignorant masses who do exactly what they're told. down to such minutia as how many times they can shake their dick after taking a leak. we did, after all, re-elect george w bush.
a&a
now that baseball is in a lull... b and i have found some time to play axis and allies. the first game we played the allies just crushed the axis. it really wasn't any fun. so we looked to see what the heck was going on. we decided to penalize russia one tank. and make the allies pay 26 ipc to the bank every turn. the game was very interesting. there was still a bit of the butterfly effect. ie the brits won a low probability battle in africa and held the entire continent. but the game was decided by tactical decisions. which is the way it should be. we'll have to play again. maybe with a smaller ipc penalty.
bad ad
so... have you seen the new MARGARINE STINKS! ads? heh. someone should be fired. or i should learn to read.
timmerism 2
may the wind at your back not be your own.
timmerism 1
everyone is mayor in crazytown.
perfect loss
here's a bit of an oddity for you. little league baseball has some rules that work well in practice but are not exactly munchkin proof. for examples. you must have at least 11 players on the roster. every player at the game in uniform must bat at least once. otherwise, you forfeit. games end after 3.5 innings if the home team is ahead and more than 1 hour 45 minutes have passed since the official start of the game. so... both teams have 12 players. the home team pitcher pitches four perfect innings. the visitor team pitcher pitches 3 perfect innings except for a solo home run. time runs out before the start of the bottom of the 4th. game's over. the score is 1-0 in favor of the home team. but wait! all 12 of the visitors batted. but only 10 of the home team players batted. they forfeit. it goes in the books as a win for the visitors. and a perfect loss for the home team.
scout
b is officially a boy scout. he bridged from a webelos den of one. fortunately for g the pack doesn't have membership issues for any other den. anywho, we went to what i hope was our first of many court of honor ceremonies. b is officially of the rank of scout. which is officially further than i got in boy scouts. anywho, i got a mommy pin. the beautiful and talented alisa thinks its hers. ha! i'm so going to swipe it back. she can get her own at the next council of honor.
hoisters
the red wings failed to hoist lord stanley's cup this year. bummer for them. father-in-law is from detroit. he's gone down to the joe on a number of occasions. fortunately, he seemed to be taking things in stride. which is good. we'll keep a watch. hockey fun game. watching the playoffs makes me wish i had time to play roller hockey again. heh. it's kind of a moot point. there's no place to play near here. i'd have to move. heh. honey! we have to sell the house.
eos
yay! baseball season is over. now we start post season. wee! toc, all-stars, friendship tournaments, etc. all this stuff will be over just in time for fall ball. heh. baseball is dead. long live baseball.
