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Timmerov's Blog
Thursday, September 28, 2017
  "tax cuts"
a tax cuts for the middle class are only good for the rich. i explain. today you make x dollars before taxes and y dollars after taxes. tomorrow i cut your taxes. next year you make z dollars before taxes and y dollars after taxes. by the miracle of free market economics, you get to keep exactly the same number of dollars. cause labor supply exceeds demand. the power to dictate prices is on the employer's side. so your gross wages before were greater than your gross wages after. the difference goes to your employer, the now richer guy.
 
Tuesday, May 09, 2017
  snoitcurtsni
why do we give instructions backwards? the other day i was guiding my mother over the phone. says me, tap the key to the left of the space bar on the keyboard. which seems perfectly reasonable. except every piece of information is delivered in exactly the wrong order. she can't start processing the information until she gets all of it.then she has to play it back in reverse - keyboard, space bar, left, one key, tap. which is extremely concise. but looks completely horrid cause no one speaks that way.
 
Monday, March 27, 2017
  un-fu windows
windows apparently "fixed" my previous rant. it's now back to the stupid way it was before. where you need to go through uac to remove an icon from the desktop.
 
Sunday, March 05, 2017
  farkin windows
f*ck you windows. seriously. just f*ck you. i explain:

i just installed turbotax. and itunes. which both put shortcuts on my desktop. cause of course they do. cause obviously they're THE MOST IMPORTANT THING i do on my computer. anywho, i don't want them there. it used to be i could just drag them into the recycle bin. and windows would pop up a user access thing demanding i enter an administrator password. cause you know, windows needs to be sure that i want to actually do what i told it to do. which was irritating. really frikken irritating. but they'd be gone. and good riddance. at least until next time. sigh.

anywho, so imagine my surprise today when i dragged the suckers into the recylcle bin and they frikken ignored me. no permission request. nothing. just fuck you. we're not going. you can't delete us. we're THE MOST IMPORTANT THING on you computer. sigh. so i started up a command shell as administrator. then i had to wander through the various user desktop to find the stupid links. they went quietly into the bit bucket.

i pretty much only use windows for taxes and 3d printing. and i wouldn't if i had a viable option. hint hint. is anyone hearing opportunity? you should be.
 
Thursday, March 02, 2017
  follow the leader
there are people saying, cut the political crap. follow the leader. be a good nazi. close your eyes, spread your legs, it'll be over soon. they're saying these things cause they don't want to hear me say i told you so in four years.
 
Saturday, February 11, 2017
  posza
posza is pronounced pizza shitza. it is the worst pizza i have ever made. sigh. i explain. the dough came out perfect. so good start. but i remembered i was making a large and small pizza after i cut the dough into two equal halves. sigh. then i forgot to pre-heat the oven. the pasta sauce was fine. but i meant to get the low salt salame. instead i got the low taste crap in confusingly similar packaging. sigh. and we had the generic mozzarella instead of the good stuff. sigh. then i did something like a smart person. i figured the large pizza would cook faster than the small one. so i put it in the oven first. but i forgot that i forgot to preheat the oven. so the broiler pretty much immediately burned the crust and cheese. oh shit. pulled it out. the dough is raw. but the oven is pre-heated. so the small one went in. which came out just fine. pizza shitza. zero stars. will not make again.
 
Saturday, January 14, 2017
  timmertopia
someone name the form of government with these features stolen from well known forms of government:


 
Thursday, December 01, 2016
  recount 2
something happened during the last election. the polls said clinton big time. yet trump won. so what happened? two hypotheses: 1) the election was rigged 2) the polls were wrong. rigging the election across the nation would be hard. not impossible. but the scale of such an operation would be vast. and one assumes would leave a detectable trail. on the other hand, we've been doing polling for 100 years. wrong allegedly. okay, this is how science works. you put forward a hypothesis. then you test it. and by that i mean you set out to prove yourself wrong. which seems like a very strange thing to non-scientists. oddly you can't prove something correct. you can only prove it's wrong. anywho. this is why it's so important to do the recounts. regardless of the outcome... one of the hypotheses is going to be shown to be wrong. either way, science wins! with bonus practical results too. we can fix either of the problems. but we need to know which one.
 
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
  recount
i'm very happy we're doing recounts in wisconsin, michigan, and pennsylvania. but but but partisan crap!!! well, yes and no. i explain. something unexpected happened the last election. scientists hate that. cause they can't stand to not know why. scientists love this sort of thing cause it's a juicy new puzzle to chew on. so from that point of view, not at all partisan. but we're only recounting states narrowly won by trump. why not virginia? cause recounts are expensive. who's gonna pay to recount virgina? not clinton cause she won virginia. not trump cause he won the electoral college. so pretty much the only people willing to pay are people hoping to flip the outcome of the election. so yeah, partisan.
 
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
  left v right
lefties freak out when the rich get handouts. whereas the right is all meh.
righties freak out when the poor get handouts. whereas the left is all meh.

[ed- i like this definition. i'm inclined to keep it. however a righty friend insisted i was wrong cause the rich don't get handouts. um... okay. so the amended definition:

lefties freak out when the rich get handouts. whereas the right refuses acknowledge that the rich get handouts at all.]
 
Monday, November 28, 2016
  int v wis
intelligence is being able to define cognitive dissonance. wisdom is observing it in yourself.
 
Sunday, November 13, 2016
  trumposcopes
trump speaks in  horoscopes. i explain. his speeches make no sense. literally. the transcripts of his speeches make no grammatical sense. he does not speak in sentences. he starts a sentence. then wanders around. the reader is confused. but the listener completes the thought with whatever makes sense to them. eventually trump starts another sentence. and the process repeats. at the end of the day, the listener is left believing that trump said exactly what they needed him to say.

not sure how much of that was intentional. and how much of it was just years of um... experience. doesn't matter. many americans (who are doing just fine), now believe that most americans are hurting. and it's all the president's fault.
 
Saturday, October 29, 2016
  foxholes
people say there are no atheists in foxholes. and that's probably true. right up until the grenade lands in the foxhole. then suddenly everyone's an atheist. i explain. you're prayersquatting in the foxhole to the almighty to keep the grenades out of your foxhole. but one lands next to you anyway. god has ignored you. not cause you're not a good person. but because he doesn't exist. and all your beseechments were for naught. now you have a decision. you can have faith that god will save you. that grenade won't kill you. except it does. you and all your buddies are dead. and go to heaven. which i guess, isn't so bad.

or you can temporarily drop the charade that there's an omnipotent omniscient being that for some reason cares about a worthless shit like you. and smother that grenade to save your buddies from also dying the real true death. they'll immediately go back to their fantasy believing you've gone to heaven. and thanking god for making the grenade land next to you instead of them. because if you don't, all of you suffer permadeath.
 
Friday, October 07, 2016
  trump's net worth
trump's net worth is hard to pin down. it depends on who's asking and who's answering. cause a big chunk of his net worth is the trump brand. which to him is worth $3b or more. depending on how he's feeling at the time. i'm paraphrasing his words here. i'm sure the trump brand would be very valuable to me. but i'm also pretty sure it wouldn't be worth $3b to me. course $1b is outside my world experience. so maybe.

anywho, trump's net worth doesn't seem to have changed much over the past 20 years. the trump haters said it's in the $300m range then. they say the same thing now too. the trump lickers said it was $3b then. they say the same thing now too. which is kinda odd for a self proclaimed genius businessman.

let's see how his wealth gains compare to other genius businessmen over the same period. bill gates went from $14b to $60b. warren buffett went from $17b to $66b. and he famously gave away $30b. liliane bettencourt went from $4b to $40b. so factor of 4 to 10. depending on how much you gave away.

the cold hard facts suggest trump's claim to being a genius businessman, like his net worth, are somewhat exaggerated.
 
Thursday, October 06, 2016
  debates
"smart" people can rapidly exchange complex ideas with words. "simple" people trying to follow along quickly get lost. not because they are stupid. but because the topic is outside their world experience. the simple person is aware of this. and promptly labels the smart people smart. the simple person can tell from cues, like being happy, who won the exchange. and hence who is smarter.

smart people talk to trump. quickly get frustrated. cause he's incoherent. he can't complete a sentence much less a thought. smart people get angry call him bad names. like idiot, scumbag, liar, crooked, etc. simple person watches the exchange. quickly gets lost. same as before. determines these two people must be smart. stops listening. starts watching to see who wins the exchange. and hence is smarter. the smart person is unhappy. trump is smiling. seems pretty clear trump won.
 
Wednesday, October 05, 2016
  "fix"
if something isn't broken, don't fix it. yeah, i'm looking at you microsoft. windows 10 seems to have lost the ability to control volume of each app individually. that was a really nice feature. especially when every third web page has an auto start video. open a few pages and cacophony. sheehs. but the geniuses at micrsoft decided we don't need that in windows 10. i guess they get kickbacks from the obnoxious ads. or think they'd get more if i had to listen to them. which i don't. fortunately, the feature isn't gone for good. you just have add a registry key. i followed these instructions. am happier now. fuck you microsoft.
 
Saturday, October 01, 2016
  damocleans
stories grow in the telling. damocles was originally a highly imaginative janitor. and the sword was a plunger suspended over a toilet. it's also the origin of calling the toilet a throne.
 
Friday, September 30, 2016
  evotrumption
trump is a natural result of evolutionary biology. i explain. it's all about breeding strategies. evolution selects for individual fitness. it is a common misconception that fit means best. as in biggest, strongest, smartest, most talented, fastest, etc. nope. evolution judges you by how well you can transfer your genes to the next generation. ie how efficiently you can breed. being the best as previously defined is a strategy. however, very few individuals can actually be the best. consider a herd of deer. the bucks compete to be the prince of the forest. who then mates with all the does. there are other strategies. for example, the does identify the prince and mate with him. he's pretty easy to identify. he won all the fights. and chased off all the other bucks. but there are still more strategies. a doe could identify a future princeling while he's still young and too small to challenge the prince. which brings me to the last breeding strategy i'm going to discuss. a buck could figure out what traits the does are looking for in future princes and imitate them. imitation could be cheaper (and safer) than actually investing the resources to becoming the biggest and strongest. ie the trump strategy.

stereotypically the R party has a ruling elite (the princes of the forest) and a loyal following (the does). the rank and file have done really well historically by following the leaders. the rank and file don't need to understand the issues. they just need to identify people who do. they can focus on putting food on the table. win-win. historically the rank and file have done a pretty good job of picking leaders. but then along comes trump. he's a pretty shitty businessman. but he honestly truly believes he's a really good businessman. he must be. he's gotten richer. the rank and file can be forgiven for believing it. cause they've been bred to trust their leader selection criteria. real leaders and real businessmen hate him. cause they know for absolute certain he's a fake. he's really only popular among other charlatans. who are hoping to join his fourth reich.

note - the stereotype is easier for me to see in the R party. cause of my particular bias. i'm sure the D party does the exact same thing. so feel free to substitute D for R and hellary for trump and politician for businessman in the above argument if that's your preference.
 
Friday, September 23, 2016
  winbash
okay so i'm running bash on windows. which is actually pretty cool. however, there are some gotchas. the first one i ran into, and it's a doozy, is the unix file system and the windows file system are seriously NOT compatible. you can find the unix files in AppData/Local/lxss. but just leave them be. cause if you edit one of them with say, visual studio, yer fucked. bash won't be able to find the file. well, it will be able to see it. but not access it. and certainly not delete it. and what's worse... windows won't be able to delete it either. which is just really goram weird. but... it's clearly labelled beta. so ya get whatcha get.
 
Thursday, September 22, 2016
  clippyclonetana
jfc microsft! cortana. really? really???!!! people fucking hated clippy. and now you've inflicted cortana on us? shame on you. shame on us for using this piece of shit operating system from that piece of shit company. anywho. how to kill cortana. run a command prompt as administrator. c:\> cd c:\windows\systemapps c:\> takeown /F *cortana* c:\> mkdir c:\windows\SystemApps.bak. open the C:\windows\systemapps folder. cut the *cortana* file. navigate to c:\windows\systemapps.bak. paste. permissions thing shows up. ignore it. open task manager. details tab. kill cortana et al. kill searchui. go back to the permissions dialog. tell the stupid thing to move the stupid file. reboot. ***caution*** this will disable the program search feature. which is kinda useful. sigh.
 
most every day i wander the corridors of my mind and open a door at random.

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