the level of stupid that people say, do, and seem to actually believe is just astounding. just read the news for example after example after example. and i'm not talking about redneck trailer trash people being stupid. i'm talking about people in positions of responsibility. i blame schools. specifically schools that teach to the lowest common denominator. the stupid kids end up thinking they're smart. which in small doses is irritating. but man, it's endemic. and we need to fix it. we need to stop giving kids awards for showing up. we have to stop giving straight a's to severely mentally disabled people who can't talk, write, or answer questions in any way. much less take a test. seriously. most obese kids think they're not fat. it's weird. most stupid kids think they're smart. sheehs. we gotta tell em. you're fat. do something about it. you're stupid. stop trying to tell smart people what to do.
friday was a great day. it started with a nice bike ride to work. work started with a silly chat with mtoy (one of the original developers of rogue) about what exactly makes a game rogue-like. he started to answer. but one of our younger employees piped up with the answer. permadeath, proceduraly generated content, bird's eye view, turn based, and a ridiculously steep difficulty curve. the topic came up cause there's a bit of buzz about a contest like event to write a playable rogue-like from start to finish in 7 days. google it yourself. anywho the day turned towards greatness when lj showed up and delivered HOOJ hugz. like coworkers were shuffling their feets and awkwardly looking elsewhere. she was at old onlive. and is now deliriously happy at yahoo. but then. then. then the nerd porn arrived. we spent the rest of the afternoon trying out the oculus rift. and of course, making fun of the people wearing it. cause in their world you're a talking fountain. and in our world they're a dumbass with a pancake on their face.
why does it take 2 hours to write documentation for code that took 1 hour to write? that's just wrong. that's just so very very wrong.
so why do bicycle saddles have noses? surely it's not to sterilize the bicycle douche crowd. google implied it's for controlling and/or stabilizing the bike while making racing turns. which i do pretty much zero times per year. i also noticed that my ideal weight position is about 8 cm aft of the seat pipe axis. which seems like a pretty serious design flaw. i can't just mount an ergonomic saddle on the top of the slidey pipe. it has to have some sort of sturdy (and thusly heavy) arm that supports the load that is me off center from the trunk support. it's obvious that there's a huge amount of design effort spent on bicycles. how come, for all practical purposes, none of it is spent on not damaging one's sensitive bits?
so i knew my coworkers would comment on the modifications i made to my bike. so i prepped some retorts. sure enough. one came up and asked what happened to your bicycle seat. technically it's a saddle. yeah yeah i'm a wannabe cycling enthusiast. what happened to it? i cut off its nose. at which point another coworker stood up and peered over his monitors at my bike. they stared at it for an interminably long time without saying anything. and i'm dying to deliver my ball squishing nose cutting off punchline. so finally i state, you're wondering why. nope. nope? wtf? i know why you did it. i'm wondering why anyone ever made a saddle any other way. my beautifully prepped witticism down the drain. ah well.
if you squish my balls i will cut off your nose. truly. apparently, my bicycle didn't think i was serious. so it squished my balls. and i cut off its nose. technically the seat of a bicycle is called a saddle. and that long skinny pinocchio shaped part that squishes one's manly bits is called the nose. so i cut it off. i cut through the metal braces too. that was probably a mistake. cause now it's held together with as much torque as i dared to apply to the compression nuts. and duct tape. lots and lots of duct tape. the beautiful and talented alisa wouldn't let me be seen in public on a bicycle seat, well half a bicycle seat, covered in duct tape. so she made a quickie cover for it out of an old baby blanket. now it's really soft on my hinie. well sorta. it's not really comfortable. cause the natural distribution of weight on my sitter is on the pelvic bones under each butt cheek. and the seat pretty much sits between them. but at least it's not painful any more. am shopping for a new seat. saddle. whatever.
let's pretend. sorry. let's do a thought experiment. suppose everyone in bost had an ar-15. and carried them all the time. loaded of course. now let's replay the boston marathon finish. the bombs still go off. cause nobody knows they're under attack until that moment. the brothers disappear for a day and a bit. they still murder the security officer at mit. they still carjack the dude's car. but this is where things get a little different. they know the driver has an ar-15. so they shoot him before he has a chance to use it. okay so that's different. they're still a lockdown. but everyone feels a lot more safe and comfortable cause they have their ar-15, right? hrm. maybe. i wouldn't. my wife or i would be up all night keeping watch. or if we did sleep, it'd be light and stressful. anywho, they still have the shoot out with police. brother the younger might not get away though. cause the cops have ar-15s. he really wasn't in any condition to do much damage anyway. it'd just ended a bit sooner. or not. only the gods know what might've happened. and they aren't telling. anywho. suppose he got to the boat. and the boat owner checked it out with his ar-15. he'd have still called the cops. they'd have still brought in the helicopter. and taken him into custody. so real net difference: car jack victim is dead. this is assuming folks there are no mistaken identifications. and no one gets trigger happy. and no one decides that now is a good time to settle a grudge. and the police resources aren't tied up dealing with well meaning and well armed vigilantes. course if every city had ar-15s like in other parts of the world, a bombing where only 3 people were killed might not even make the news. conclusion: it'd be a very different world. i'm just not seeing the up side.
there are no leftovers in this house. there are only pre-made midnight snacks.
every now and then someone loses their mind. and takes it upon themselves to go out of their way to make someone look like an idiot. like way way way out of their way. like way beyond the pale. remind me to look up the etymology of that phrase. anywho. i've got some good news for them and some bad news. the good news is... they're succeeding! marvelously usually. but the bad news... at making *themselves* look like an idiot.
so i broke my little finger last week. this morning i forget to tape it before going to work. sigh. there was no medical tape in the first aid kit. sigh. the other jocks had none. sigh. the singer had some kinesthesiology tape. wtf? nfc. anywho. i borrowed some. cause i really didn't want to reinjure the damaged ligaments. my tape is perfectly flesh colored. so no one knew i had a broken finger. cause no one at work reads my blog. thank gods. but today they did. cause the singer's tape is hot pink. you have no idea how many pinky jokes i had to sit through. sigh. am home now. with real tape again. yay. it's in the painful healing stage now. hopefully it'll get better soon. typing with a taped shift key finger is highly error prone.
sheehs texas. we know it's very important for ya'll to be bigger than everything else. especially boston. but really. couldn't you have let this one go? just this once. yeah i know, it's in really poor taste to make jokes about tragedies. but that's how some people deal with the senselessness. and the loss. and that was slightly better than, wait for it, that's not a boom. thaht's a boom.
boston marathon ended with a bang. i'm betting on a home grown crazy. maybe even protesting taxes.
see? i can use a shift key. pah. anywho, i downloaded the free to play game puzzle and dragons. which i only heard about from tfgamer - the some intern link to the right. the game is an absolutely wonderful combination of cuteness, horror, and addiction. you have a stable of cute happy smiling monsters. which you send into dungeons. which look a lot like hallways. you match 3 or more colored orbs in a row to get your cute fuzzy monsters of that color to attack the cute fuzzy monsters in the dungeon. when you clear the floor you get to keep any monster eggs you found. they hatch. and now you have more cute fuzzy monsters to send into more dungeons. the dungeons get tougher as you clear the easier ones. so you feed your weaker cute fuzzy monsters to your tougher cute fuzzy monsters to make them even more tough. they call if fusion. but i hear the crunching chewing swallowing noises in my head every time. the cute fuzzy monsters don't want to eat each other. you have to pay them. you can sell cute fuzzy monsters when you run out of coins. i like to think they're going to the land of monster milk and honey. and they're not being sold to be food on someone else's phone. but... anywho. apparently this is so horrifying that you can only do it for so long before you run out of stamina. at which put you have to put the phone down and do something else. which is brilliant. i can't have this stupid little thing. therefore i want that stupid little thing. really fucking bad! gimme gimme gimme! well, you could restore your stamina if you had a magic stone. which you can buy in the in-game store. free to play my cute fuzzy monster butt.
i'm about to describe an injury to my person. i plan to be a bit graphic. so if you're the squeamish type you might want to wait for tomorrow's post. still here? so i went to open wrestling practice. and was wrestling with the coach. after a break i noticed the pinky on my left hand was telling me it might be injured. so i checked. no obvious bones sticking out. nothing obviously broken inside. okay. kept wrestling. middle of the next set i posted my hand on the mat. and called time out break stop. my pinky was kinda bent 90 degrees. it normally bends 90 degrees forward. it wasn't bent backwards. which is good. that'd be kinda gross. it was 90 degrees sideways. so i replaced it. found some tape. and kept on wrestling for another half hour or so. was a good session. typing feels a bit weird. i tape the two finger together when i think it might be endangered. but otherwise we have some nice stiff tape that makes for a nice split. i'm hoping it heals well enough that i don't need repairs. wearing a splint for the rest of my life would be a pain. ah well. practice on monday.
g's little league team won their first game this season. yay! the boys played well. our best pitcher was out with a sore arm. somehow he decided that throwing side arm was a good idea. he's pitching overhand again. and dominating again. yay! and they swung the bats. and hit some balls. was all good. we did give up an over the fence home run though. ah well. one of my wrestlers hit it. so i can't complain. go team go.
i broke my tub. it was draining slowly. so i took a sledge hammer to it. now it drains very quickly. and the boys won't use it any more. ah well. no seriously. i removed the drain grate thingy in an attempt to clear the blockage. i failed. and when i went to put it back, something snapped. apparently that something was kinda important. b climbed around under the house to inspect the damage. and sure enough, it was wet. and more water came down like a faucet. sigh. so we called the plumber. and they figgit. except the old drain thingy was brass colored. and the new drain thingy is silver. ah well. they replaced the pipes. got to see the old one. kinda wondered how water got through it at all. the plumber seemed to be all proud of his work. and assured me i wouldn't need to clean that drain for a long time. which is good. cause apparently "clean" means break. heh. the boys are somewhat sad. cause they must once again take baths. poor them.
wee. months ago. like september last year. we started the process of linking our att wireless bill with our att land line bill. yes, we still have a land line. don't get me started. anywho, the accounts are now merged together into one online account. but we still get separate bills. sigh. the whole impetus for doing this was to get a single bill. presumably there are fees per account. and separate accounts each pay the fees. hey $5/month is $5/month. but maybe next month. wee.
we have a library at work. it's full of books people have donated and/or abandoned. real hard copy books on paper. many with hard covers. it's weird in the age of ebooks and kindles. but there it is. some joker put the libby arts college textbook on human sexuality right in the middle of the game of thrones series.
at the old place we had nice reasonably large letters that spelled onlive outside the building. when we moved, the letters came with us individually. they're now inside. on a desk. a clever individual (not me) rearranged them to spell, i love u. when i related this cuteness to the family, they furrowed their brows and scratched their heads. huh? there's no y. nor u. no, not you, u i said. they groaned. there's still no u. they thought "re-arrange" was a bit of a stretch. and they're right. re-arranging letters usually means to change order. like an anagram. it doesn't usually mean, turn upside down. though that's a perfectly cromulent usage of the word.
scientists are doing a piss poor job of describing what science is. we come off as saying science is right and religion is wrong. comma, you dummasses. science is the study of god's works. the bible is one of god's works. an important one. cause it's as close as we get to a manual on how to be human. heh. so when someone's acting up, hand em a gideon and say, rtfm. anywho. the bible certainly isn't the only one of god's works. it's actually a pretty shitty one. cause it's been touch by so many less-than-divine hands. it's kinda dumb to limit oneself to studying this one work when there are so many other more interesting ones. like astronomy, geology, mathematics, biology, ecology, anthropology, paleontology, evolution, physics, chemistry, oceanography, meteorology, climatology, zoology, botany, ...
g got his first hit in the little league majors division yesterday! woo hooty! he was moved out of the lead off spot. overdue really. unfortunately, the team's pretty weak. and didn't have anyone better to put there. ouch.
not much action this year. i tried to get g with an impromptu fool. i got a wonderful assist from the beautiful and talented alisa. but he figured out that his favorite racquetball court didn't burn to the ground. seeing how it's made out of concrete. g got me though. he swiped his lunchbox from off my bike handles. so we're nearly to school and omigod! where's your lunch? i swear i put wrapped it up here like normal. but it's... you little stinker. good one. there's a sign on the printer at work. it says it's now voice activated. i don't know how long it's been there. speak friend to win. it *might* actually be voice activated. i kinda want to try. i also kinda don't want to look foolish. hrm. i think i'll go talk to it. and have a co-conspirator print something at just the right moment. i'm gonna be so funny.
i habba code. feel blechy. actually it's more of a sore throat than a congested head. but still. feel icky. glad you're not me.
easter was fun this year. i ran a dnd egg hunt game. i made real life dragon eggs out of plastic eggs, a hot glue gun, and some paint. they turned out really cool. anywho. the characters were dragon hatchlings. but they didn't know it. they thought they were little fairy children. alisa wrote some poetry. i thought it was really good. she thought it was embarrassingly bad. maybe it was both. it was definitely way way better than anything i could have done. anywho. the characters found puzzles in the dungeon. and a magic chest. they had to don their headdress from the rising sun - eastern bonnets. as it were. the players had to also don matching headgear to make the link between the magic chest in the game and the reality chest in the middle of the room. the characters found some numbers that were probably gps coordinates. what are the numbers? i can't tell you. what? why not? cause i don't know what they are. whaaaa??? your characters know what they are. oh. pretty quickly they figured it out. our characters write the gps numbers on a piece of paper, put it in the chest, and oh yeah while wearing their easter bonnets. at which point i let them open the reality chest in the room. and voila! there were the gps coordinates. like magic. so they went there. found the easter basket. and the key to the locked door in the game. and a dragon egg. which they put in the reality chest. while wearing their easter bonnets. and voila! their characters found em in the in-game chest. and i magicked out of the reality chest when they weren't looking. i thought of this all by myself.