nose
if you squish my balls i will cut off your nose. truly. apparently, my bicycle didn't think i was serious. so it squished my balls. and i cut off its nose. technically the seat of a bicycle is called a saddle. and that long skinny pinocchio shaped part that squishes one's manly bits is called the nose. so i cut it off. i cut through the metal braces too. that was probably a mistake. cause now it's held together with as much torque as i dared to apply to the compression nuts. and duct tape. lots and lots of duct tape. the beautiful and talented alisa wouldn't let me be seen in public on a bicycle seat, well half a bicycle seat, covered in duct tape. so she made a quickie cover for it out of an old baby blanket. now it's really soft on my hinie. well sorta. it's not really comfortable. cause the natural distribution of weight on my sitter is on the pelvic bones under each butt cheek. and the seat pretty much sits between them. but at least it's not painful any more. am shopping for a new seat. saddle. whatever.