Timmerov's Blog
pumkinfinite
this year's pumpkin was pretty easy to execute. i painted a pumpkin on it. and inside that pumpkin i painted another pumpkin. and so forth and so on. ad inifinitum. i'ts' pumpkins all the way down. sort of a variation of the inifini-tee. happy halloween.
licenses
orville wright did not have a pilot's license. but amelia earhart did.
foreclosures
okay so i had to have this one explained to me. my position started out with the banks. homes are being foreclosed because the mortgage isn't being paid. the bank is not the bad guy here. the deadbeat "homeowner" is. and yeah maybe a different bank shouldn't have made the loan in the first place. so i don't have too much sympathy for either party. the problem is. the paperwork is so shoddy you sometimes can't get title insurance. ie there's no paper trail showing clear transfer of title and liens through all the different parties. so the nightmare case would be i buy a foreclosed home. then some time later another bank forecloses on it cause they think they own the mortgage. which i obviously haven't been paying to them. so my position should shift. shouldn't it? well no i'm not convinced yet. if that's really the worst case scenario, it's really an issue between banks. which they should be able to resolve with money. and enough time. during which you might not be able to sell the house. heh. which means the "screwed homeowner" is the pariah who buys foreclosed properties in order to flip them for a profit. another player with whom i have absolutely no sympathy. okay so the simple solution is for the foreclosing bank to guarantee the title. then it doesn't matter how shoddy their paperwork is. risk stops at a responsible party. and life goes on.
simb
some people want to be rich. some want to be king. some want to be famous happy loved beautiful etc. i want to be a photon. photons travel at the speed of light. and because of relativity, time stops. they never get old. everywhere is here. everywhen is now. i want to tour the universe and be forever young. science is my bitch.
peeves
one of my pet peeves is being corrected when i'm right. i hate that from people. it's especially bad when it's done by a machine. the other day i googled for: boy's bike. google suggested i meant: boys bike. hrm. stupid ass machine. no google. i meant, boy's bike. as in possessive. grumpf. grumpf. still not gonna use bing.
sigh
tee party. as in people who play golf. like do violence to a poor innocent little sphere sitting on a tee just minding its own business.
tee party
as far as i'm concerned, jimmy johnson was the dallas cowboys football coach. i've never been to branson, missouri. i didn't know the price is right is still on the air. i've never watched oprah. i don't know the acronym mma. i've never read left behind. i had to look up how to spell harlequin. i've never been to kiwanis or rotary club. i don't have a close friend who's an evangelical christian. both of my parents have college degrees. apparently, that makes me a member of the new elite. on the other hand, i grew up in a small town. i've never watched mad men or the sopranos. i can't talk yoga or pilates. i have lived below the poverty level. i have worked at a factory, but not on the assembly line. i have slung burgers (and tacos). so i'm sort of a mudblood new elite to mix metaphors. i think the tea party has a valid point. the tee party (see what i did there?) is out of touch with mainstream america. gwb would be the poster boy. but then on the other hand... the tea party is completely out of touch with the ruling elite. the tea party's platform is all about smaller government. ie lower taxes and less spending. which i guarantee will translate to lower taxes for the tee party and less spending on everyone else. sigh. timmer for president.
goal kick
so the other week g was playing a soccer game. the opposing goalie drop kicked the ball to midfield. the crowd all went oooooo! cause it was kind of a long kick for a kid that age. the ball was coming down near g. so he just drop kicked it right back. but without the drop part. the crowd got real quiet. and everyone on and off the field just watched the ball go 3' wide of the net. on the goalie's next kick, he kicked it far far away from g.
fox
i don't like to shoot fish in a barrel. i really don't like bashing bush jr. and i don't like dissing fox "news". i've said good things about gw. rarely. but when he deserves credit. he gets it. hrm. i haven't said anything nice about fish. other than they're yummy when prepared by alisa. so i guess that counts. anywho, i've been watching for something good to say about fox. you know, to give them equal time. sheehs. no really. to encourage them to do the right thing. so anyways, there's this obscure local fox affiliate that refused to run an ad by a republican candidate because it was egregiously factually wrong. the claim was the rep's opponent voted badly when said votes were actually cast by a different member of congress with the same last name. accuracy and ethics in the media. i'm all for it. go fox go. please. ;->
whoopi
whoopi and friend recently walked off the set of another talkie show cause the dumbass host said muslims killed us on 9/11. though technically correct, the objection is to the implication that all muslims want to kill us. heh. i'd have just laughed and said, christians killed us on 4/19. and japanese killed us on 12/7. germans killed us on 6/6. the problem isn't muslims, christians, japanese, or germans. the problem is extremism. people who take a good message, god is love. and pervert it and turn it into something sinister. god wants you to love your neighbor by killing him. in this regard, o'reilly is clearly in the dangerous extremist category.
jfk
utah executed a convicted murderer by firing squad not too long ago. what a waste. i mean, think of all the science that could be done. for example, you could replicate the conditions of the jfk assassination. have a sniper at the right place with the right weapon shoot the condemned in the head from the right angle. heh. from the correct angle. anywho, we'd see once and for all if a real living person's head flies back and to the left under such conditions. simulating the setup with pumpkins and cadavers just isn't going to be good enough for some folks. there's always going to be the conspiracy believers until we perform the experiment with a real life living person. and besides, it'd give the condemned scum a chance for some small amount of redemption. that and 15 minutes of fame.
upholdution
i'm going to shameless echo that bad astronomy guy. when a person is elected to congress they swear to uphold the constitution. every newly elected member should be given a simple knowledge test of the constitution. you cannot swear to uphold something if you don't understand what that something is. if you can't pass the test you can't be sworn in. if you're not sworn in you can't hold the seat. and you'll have to either be replaced by a special election. it's really a very sad reflection on the status of the education system in this country when someone ignorant of its basic precepts is a serious contender for congress.
voters
the supreme court ruled that businesses can spend as much money as they want to promote political candidates. or maybe they ruled they could sling as much mud against the other guy. which is equivalent. anywho, i argued this will completely squelch the smaller voices. specifically the ones the founding fathers intended to protect with the bill of rights. i argued this was a bad thing (tm). now i'm not so sure. those small voices are really, pretty stupid. generally wealthy folks are smarter than poor folks for the simple reason that smart folks tend to not stay poor for very long. maybe it's a good idea to let the voices of stupid people be drowned out by the voices of smarter people.
lotf
the beautiful and talented alisa went to an all-girl high school. they read lord of the flies. it was completely incomprehensible to here. nobody would act that way. it seemed completely implausible. but now, she has two wonderful boys. who play various sports. with boys who are not so wonderful. and her position has completely reversed. how could there have been any other outcome?
3s
trouble comes in threes. b's bicycle was stolen while he was at wrestling practice. my video card died. and the lawnmower won't spin. sigh. someone went shopping for expensive bicycles with cheap locks. it looks like they broke it with a screwdriver and a rock. wee. he rides his bike to school every day. losing even this small amount of mobility is going to be sorely inconvenient. he's off camping with the boy scouts this weekend. he'll get home just in time for a baseball game. he's got wrestling practice every day after school. and he needs his first pair of wrestling shoes. wee. guess we'll go bike and shoe shopping monday and wednesday evenings this week. we're going to spend more on the lock and less on the bike this time. maybe paint it pink or tie dyed. who'd want to steal that? heh. the lawnmower has been slowly giving up the ghost. it released its last hold on life this morning. yeah we could probably clean the brushes and contacts one more time. but it takes longer to do that than to actually mow the lawn. so that doesn't seem like a good idea. my mac/pc has two video cards. so while i'm seriously cramped with only one 1920x1200 monitor. i can get useful work done. it's going to be an expensive weekend. wee. at least we got g's compucomputer installed on his bicycle. now if only we could find the booklet explaining how to program it. sigh.
bullies
all the advice you got about dealing with bullies is wrong. uh oh. i thought. then i read the article. hrm. seems like journalists got different advice from what i got when we were kids. ignoring a bully just leads to continued bullying. failing to tell a trusted teacher means you are well and truly on your own. course you can't really stand up to a bully. cause the bully picked you cause he's pretty sure he can kick your ass. which means you have to stand up to them without actually getting in a fight. i usually went for confusion. bullies generally aren't the brightest bulbs in the basket. comebacks like: no but your face is. or that's what she said. or did you know that when you fight your testicles get pulled up into your body where they overheat and stop producing the hormones that make you penis grow. hee hee. those work pretty well. as does laughing hysterically a la better off dead. then there's the negotiation strategy. STOP! what kind of fight is this? boxing? karate? okay let's go. STOP! headbutts? okay. STOP! you understand that we're entering a mutually combative situation, right? and you agree to be responsible for your own injuries. my injuries? hahahahahah! sure. you could trip and fall on your untied shoelace. points at shoe. looks down. SHMACK!!! runs like hell to the principal's office. heh. course my favorite is... there's a book called ender's game. you should read it.
influences
beck is the new dnd. remember the good old days when whenever some kid flipped out and did something seriously anti-social. like redecorated his classroom with a 12 gauge shotgun. the media would reveal that was in to dungeons and dragons. and everyone would go aaahhhhh. as if that explained everything. today's news story was about a guy who went on a shooting spree. he watched glenn beck on tv. aaahhhhh! that explains everything.
tg4ds
sometimes people say the right thing for the wrong reasons. thank god there are men and women in this country who are willing to sacrifice their lives to defend our way of life. our ideals embodied in our constitution. like the freedom to say things people would rather not hear. thank god for dead soldiers.
owch
my arm hurts. i threw too many pitches at practice last week. hrm. 12 kids two buckets each. each bucket has some 3-4 dozen baseballs. ouch. the beautiful and talented alisa has been taking good care of me. i get rubdowns. they feel really good. i try not to complain. cause you, i'm a tough guy. but if i don't complain i don't get the wonderful pampering. define dilemma.
caltrops
okay i'm getting kinda tired of drivers sharing the lane with me when i'm on my bicycle. i had words for a guy at a traffic light. he showed ignorance of the law and a complete disregard for the safety of his fellow man. all he cared about was getting from point a to point b slower than he could do it on a bicycle. heh. anywho. i was thinking about wearing a vest that said ARMED in big reflecto letters on the back. i'm kinda hoping that would be sufficient. but maybe the message would need to be clearer: ARMED RIDER or ARMED, STAY CLEAR. if that doesn't work then i got ideas. it's not legal for me to ride on the sidewalk. i do it anyway when the road is too narrow safely share with idiot drivers. so i have to stay on the road. and when it's narrow i kinda want the whole lane. so i was thinking of ways to secure it. maybe just vertical flags that can be extended horizontally when needed so i'm 6 feet wide. maybe put sharpie pens on the ends. so if someone gets too close they get their car decorated. or maybe sharpie points on the end so their car is decorated with scratches. heh. then i hit on the brilliant idea of caltrops at the end of the flags. if you get so close you run over one you get a flat tire. attach a message. if you are reading this then you drove way way too close to a bicyclist. please obey the law and share the road. thanks for your cooperation. this product would practically sell itself. i'm gonna be so rich.
tg4dp
the phelps case is making its way to the supreme court. i am surprised by the sc's bizarro rulings often enough that i'm also surprised when they hand one down in line with my version of common sense. see some of my rants err postings about the eminent domain fiasco. i didn't even bother touching the unlimited campaign spending thing. sometimes you have to limit someone's free speech so that others can have free speech too. anywho. let me exercise my right to free speech on this case about when i can exercise my right to free speech. i don't have a problem with some nameless blogger saying, thank god for dead phelpses. yep, god is punishing us for cutting taxes on the rich by killing members of religious cults. hey, it's no dumber than the phelps' actual honest to god position. anywho. i don't have a problem with said blogger singling out an individual phelps as opposed to an anonymous member of the class of phelpses. like, thank god fred phelps is dead. not even sure i'd object to protests at fred phelps' funeral. he's the distinguished leader of this cult and as such isn't entitled to all of the same protections as the generic phelps. i do have an objection to protesting joe phelps' funeral. now, i don't know if there is a real joe phelps or not. i kinda hope not. cause the fewer phelpses there are, the better. and no that's not an endorsement to go kill a phelps. sheehs. anywho, when i go to joe phelps' funeral, i'm not just expressing an opinion any more. i am intentionally causing distress in the hopes of provoking a possibly violent reaction. hey, lady! your kid is dead! praise god! hahahahahah! this is a form of speech not protected by the first amendment. and i should be liable for any damages i cause. including the emotional pain and suffering of momma phelps. and my own medical bills when someone helpfully corrects my misinterpretation of god's will and the constitution with a crowbar to the face.
confluence
a long time ago the sf giants agreed to play host for the cub scouts and boy scouts for one of their games at the end of the season. how were they supposed to know they'd be locked in an exciting race for first place with the padres? they also happen to be playing them at home for the last three games of the season. our pack got to see a good game. we lost but oh well. we're fighting for the privilege of being crushed by the yankees. but that's not what i want to talk about. it was a good day. it started with g and g's friend r playing half a soccer game. r scored two goals. made them look easy. g scored the best goal though. top shelf off the cross bar over the goalie. damn nice kick. we hustled out of there and off to the city. no traffic until we got there. a nice police officer had blocked off the rightmost lane. so we stopped in front of his cones and unloaded 3 scouts and me. the beautiful and talented alisa returned home to watch the game on tv and enjoy a day all to herself. we joined the tailgate party. i stood in line for a hot dog, a burger, and a cheeseburger. r's mom stood in line for the patches. after lunch, we entered the stadium to get our orange rally towel. there was no line. we got our hands stamped and hung out until it was time to assemble at the right field gate. there was an unpleasant scout leader lady telling everyone they had to go to the end of the line. cause people were waiting for an hour and a half. i knew she was lying cause there was no line when we walked past less than an hour ago. but we fought our way past the line that was trying to grow backwards. which just seemed dumb. eventually they opened the gate right in front of us. so we ended up being the first ones in. cool. scouts were marching by and marching by. and then the opera lady started to sing the national anthem. and there were still 100 or so scouts outside the stadium. including the obnoxious leader lady. doh. then the long line of scouts turned around and marched out the field gate and formed a new line to go in a gate that led to the seats. kinda weird but that was the way of things. since we already had our hands stamped we walked past the long line and stood in the short line for people re-entering. we only missed the first half of the first half inning. we got to see the sf pitcher walk in a second run. ouch. that turned out to be the margin of victory. double ouch. our luck held on the way out too. the game ended on a double play. and i got the scouts going while some 42k people kinda stood around hoping maybe for a do over or something. we walked down the ramp. the stairs were stoppered. and the escalator was slow. so it was kinda optimal. cool. then we walked a couple of blocks to the train station. where we got on an express train. and less than an hour later, we were home. it was a good day.
majority rules
it's difficult to pass a budget in california. we require a 2/3rds super majority. there's a proposal to make it a simple majority. the knee jerk reaction is that taxes will go up. hrm. let's do a thought experiment. 5 people want to go to dinner together. if they follow majority rules any 3 of them can pick the restaurant. looking at it another way, it takes 3 to veto. so if two people agree all they have to do is entice one more vote for. one can imagine all kinds of horse trades. for example, the middle guy could vote with the richer guys as long as they pick up the tab. over the long term there will be a distribution of restaurants. okay, now suppose they need a super majority to make a decision ie 4 votes. uh oh. now any pair has veto power. negotiations become a lot more difficult because the simple majority requires support from the minority. the minority is empowered. and believes it's entitled to concessions from the majority. the problem is, there can be multiple minorities. if one minority demands too much, the majority can split. and now all of a sudden the former minority finds itself part of the majority facing a rebellious new minority. and everyone risks going hungry. choosing something simple like where to eat becomes a stupid exercise in brinksmanship. it's a waste of time effort and energy. sheehs. why would we want this shit in government? sheehs.
money floats
if i said water ran uphill or bubbles sank to the bottom of the sea you'd laugh at me. cause you know better. hrm. so when people say money will trickle down from the top... laugh at them. cause you know better. money floats to the top. like in poker. if i start the night with twice as many chips as you, most likely i'm going home up and you're going home down. the role of government is to remove money from the top and put it back into the system at the bottom. most of our economic measures reflect how fast money moves through the system. shovel money faster and it bubbles up faster. economic indicators go crazy. everyone calls this a good thing. if we stop taking money from the top, we'll reach an equilibrium. money will stop flowing. and indicators will tank. kinda like what's happening now. the fix is pretty easy. tax the rich. and yeah, some folks are gonna be unhappy. and it won't work out exactly as foreseen. but it's gonna be a lot better than the status quo road to nowhere.
threats
i often want to say something to drivers when i'm on my bike. like, did you really need to get that close to me? would you like me to put your life in that much danger when you're riding your bike and i'm driving? apparently the beautiful and talented alisa did say something to someone. i guess he took it personally. so for a while whenever he had the chance he cut her off. kinda dumb. cause they go to same frikken school and drop their kids off at the same time. sheehs. it's probably a good thing she didn't tell me about it when i could have done something about it. cause i would have. probably just leaned on his car door waiting for him to return. then probably words first. or maybe if i was feeling extra pissy i might have just started by throwing punches at his face. not actually hitting him. just threatening to. you threaten to hit my wife with your car. i threaten to hit your face with my fist. not much fun. what say we call a truce? cause driving is a privilege. which can be lost. can't drive with a broken leg. give me an excuse. or better, have a timely attack of the smarts.
ambush
g's been hiding in his room. it's pretty easy. his young eyes adjust quickly and my old ones don't. so hiding is pretty much standing still. he waits 'til i climb in bed and discover he's not there then he jumps on me. BOO! yeah yeah got me ninja boy. you'd think with all that practice i would have not been ambushed by a prius. heh. yep. it sneaked up on me when i was riding my bike. it was in its super quiet all electric mode. i heard a rumor of rules coming down that would require electric cars to play noise that makes them sound like an internal combustion engine. that sounds pretty stupid to me. instead, all cars should have adjustable horns. from a polite meep meep you'd use to alert granny that she should get off the driveway but you don't want to frighten her so badly she flings her grocery bags everywhere. to the blasting HOOOOONNNNKKK!!!! you'd use for the phone sexting i-hole that just cut you off.
drain
the washer shut off cause the sink in the garage was backing up. that seems pretty smart of it. i kinda like this washer. the garage sink was backing up cause all the bits and pieces of food and ick we send down the garbage disposal got stuck in the the pipe they share. when we remodeled the kitchen the contractor told us our sink was just a smidge too low. the code specifies the pipes must descend at such and such a slope. and we were half an inch over 20 feet too short. usually it's not a problem. i guess we've had it turned twice now in 7 years. hrm. even at $200 a pop it'd take a long time to justify moving lots of pipes under the house and yard. we'll have to adjust our behavior. ie scrape plates into the trash instead of down the drain. and maybe get some of the magic drain stuff the roto-rooter guy was so excited about. he called it enzymes. and he called it bacteria. hrm. maybe it's bacteria that produce enzymes. dunno.
