so while researching how to sync the analog and digital clocks on our oven, i found a lot of useless advice. course that's par for the course when praying to google. rtfm was the most common. one guy suggested flipping the circuit breaker labeled "oven" to off for 20 minutes. heh. i really really wanted that to be part of the instructions. just cause how many times in your life are you going to get to say something as absurd as, step 1) power cycle the oven. but alas, the procedure wasn't necessary. and even if it was, the clocks are out of sync due to a frikken POWER FAILURE. which would have power cycled the oven. sheehs. besides, who labels their circuit breakers anyway? we tried. but pg&e came along in the dark of night and erased the notations. dun dun duhn. anywho. it didn't make the useful post. but it is just too weirdly funny for there to not be a follow up post. just for it.
so the power went out. shit. well, at least i wasn't doing anything important. minutes later the fire trucks go sirening by. minutes later the power comes back on. great. now i can go back to doing nothing. cause i wasn't finished. except. sigh. all the clocks need to be reset. b's clock requires the masculine touch. ie ya gotta press the shit out of the hour button to get the time to change. stupid thing. the others work just fine. the microwave is painless. press the clock button. type in the time. i really appreciate when things are done well. the oven on the other hand is a pain in the ass. it's got an analog clock and a digital clock. and they get out of sync when the power goes out. the manual is long lost. and prayers to google say good riddance. cause those instructions don't work anyways. even the instructions that do "work" kinda suck. cause the people who write them are frikken morans. so here's how you synchronize the analog and digital clocks on your viking oven. 1. this procedure is easiest at around 12:00. noon or midnight. don't care. 2. press and release the start time button. 2. wait for the display to go blank. 3. immediately and simultaneously press and release the timer button and the start time button. 4. set the analog time to 12:01 using the set dial. 5. wait for the display to start flashing. 6. set the digital time to 12:01 using the set dial. 7. wait for the display to go blank. yay! they're in sync. now you need to set the time: a. simultaneously press and hold the timer button and the bake hours button. b. set the digital time using the set dial. c. wait. d. watch the analog hands spin round and round. e. say, bwah hah hah hah hah. f. do it again. i printed these instructions. and taped them to the inside of the cabinet door above the oven. not a frikken moran.
i bought a pink iphone. for two reasons. one i figured it would be easy to find. especially at say baseball practice if it happened to fall onto the grass. and two, it was the only color available at the discount price. i've gotten a few comments. but no hey check out the faggot with the pink phone. which is kinda too bad. cause that would be entertaining. very entertaining. but i digress. so anywho. my enthusiasm for pink apparently is not shared by my family. i asked for some sort of protective case cover thing for father's day. so i could be less worried about damaging the phone at the aforementioned baseball practices. they scored me a nice one. and the fact that it's completely black hasn't escaped my notice.