Timmerov's Blog: November 2016

Timmerov's Blog

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

recount

i'm very happy we're doing recounts in wisconsin, michigan, and pennsylvania. but but but partisan crap!!! well, yes and no. i explain. something unexpected happened the last election. scientists hate that. cause they can't stand to not know why. scientists love this sort of thing cause it's a juicy new puzzle to chew on. so from that point of view, not at all partisan. but we're only recounting states narrowly won by trump. why not virginia? cause recounts are expensive. who's gonna pay to recount virgina? not clinton cause she won virginia. not trump cause he won the electoral college. so pretty much the only people willing to pay are people hoping to flip the outcome of the election. so yeah, partisan.

¶ 8:00 AM

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

left v right

lefties freak out when the rich get handouts. whereas the right is all meh.
righties freak out when the poor get handouts. whereas the left is all meh.

[ed- i like this definition. i'm inclined to keep it. however a righty friend insisted i was wrong cause the rich don't get handouts. um... okay. so the amended definition:

lefties freak out when the rich get handouts. whereas the right refuses acknowledge that the rich get handouts at all.]

¶ 8:00 AM

Monday, November 28, 2016

int v wis

intelligence is being able to define cognitive dissonance. wisdom is observing it in yourself.

¶ 8:00 AM

Sunday, November 13, 2016

trumposcopes

trump speaks in horoscopes. i explain. his speeches make no sense. literally. the transcripts of his speeches make no grammatical sense. he does not speak in sentences. he starts a sentence. then wanders around. the reader is confused. but the listener completes the thought with whatever makes sense to them. eventually trump starts another sentence. and the process repeats. at the end of the day, the listener is left believing that trump said exactly what they needed him to say.

not sure how much of that was intentional. and how much of it was just years of um... experience. doesn't matter. many americans (who are doing just fine), now believe that most americans are hurting. and it's all the president's fault.

¶ 8:00 AM

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

math problems

so the other day after dinner b asked for a math problem. so i gave him some. #1 you are 50 meters away from a velociraptor. you immediately start running at 10 m/s. the velociraptor immediately starts chasing you at 30 m/s. how long do you live? #2 same as #1 except it's an injured velociraptor that runs at 20 m/s. #3 you're standing at the corner of an equilateral triangle 50m on a side with healthy velociraptors at the other two corners. you take off running in a straight line in any direction. so do the velociraptors. how long do you live? #4 same as #3 except one of the velociraptors is injured. #5 same setup as #4 except if the two velociraptors arrive at you at precisely the same moment, they will fight with each other allowing you to escape. what direction do you run? enjoy.

¶ 4:04 PM