cosmic ruler
they say the universe is expanding. i say the ruler we use to measure the distances to the stars is shrinking. it's shrinking because we are falling into a gravitational well. they say the universe is expanding faster now than it was in the great distant past. i say our ruler is shrinking faster because we're falling into the well faster. everyone's seen the general relativity representations of the horn shaped wire mesh. or the thing where you roll the coins around and around and around until they fall into the black hole. imagine a large sheet of rubber attached to the edges of a table.. and you glued the center of the sheet to the floor. draw a spider web mesh on the sheet. now lift up the table. the mesh lines dive into the hole. just like stuff falling into the sun. glue two holes to the floor. i bet they merge. raise the table really high with really stretchy rubber. the holes become long string-like things. hmmm.