funerals
funerals creep me the fuck out. i means jebus. let's get everyone together and go look at a corpse. i stayed as far from the open casket as possible. course i was one of the pall bearers. which was okay. cause the box was closed by then. the best part of the sermon thing was the sappy shit my marine uncle wrote. which was extraordinary on so many levels. the worst part was the praise jebuses. like really? grandma died. praise jebus. wtf? thank god she's dead? now we can get on with our lives. did i wander into westboro? sheehs. actually that wasn't the worst part. the worst part was the recitations. the lord is my shepherd. i shall not want. he maketh us to lie down in green pastures. we are the borg. you will be assimilated into the house of the borg forever. you believe in god the father almighty creator of heaven and earth and his only begotten son. you will be assimilated. resistance is futile. our father who art in heaven. hallowed be thy name. the borg come. you will be assimilated. your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. resistance is futile. for we are the borg. for ever and ever. ramen.