acne
so my teenage son wanted to know what caused acne. so i told him. it's spiders. microscopic spiders that live in your pores and eat the oil your skin produces to be healthy. they come out at night to have sex on your face and make more spiders. they don't have anuses so all that oil they eat sorta fills them up until they burst. filling your pores with spider shit. puberty means you're growing really fast. and all that new young skin needs lots of oil. ie spider food. more food. more spiders. more shit. and sometimes there's so much shit the pores get clogged. and the immune system jumps in to clear the mess. voila! a pimple erupts. EEWWW! GROSSSSSS!!!! definitely. is it true? i have no idea. but it got him to wash his face.