code red so the teachers at b's high school knew there was an upcoming code red drill. and since they knew it. so did the students. a code red means there's a shooter on campus. the classroom doors are to be barricaded. no one goes in. no one goes out. until the all clear is given. and then apparently they go out with their shirts tucked in and their hands on their heads. it's pretty serious. so anyway. the alarm goes off. and the announcement comes over the speakers, this is not a drill. and the students are all like yeah yeah code red. wait. did she say NOT a drill. this is not a drill. oh shit. b was in pe class. their instructions are to run to the far corner of campus, and wait for the teacher to help them go over the wall. the teacher jogs up. wonders why they're in the corner instead of under the bleachers. see, he was in the locker room. he could hear the alarm. but not the announcement. apparently there was a bit of confusion among the students too. some thought the announcement was that this was a drill. so the teacher took them under the bleachers to wait for the police to escort them off campus. the office called the teachers. are all students accounted for. yes. have you evacuated campus? no. no? no. this is not a drill. what? this is not a drill. oh shit. everyone over the fence. so some 30 students went over the wall. and into the bushes of the apartment complex on the other side. where they were yelled at by an old biddy. get off my lawn! heh. so they made their way to the muster point, a 7-11, to wait for school buses to take them to another school. except, someone rear-ended one of the buses. wtf? how the fuck do you rear end a giant yellow school bus as big as a barn? so anywho, now the buses can't leave the scene of an accident. so the students go to plan b. amazingly, there is an actually honest to god plan b. so off they go to the bowling alley. to watch the news and call parents. a good plan. much better than the jump the wall into the bushes plan. but yeah okay. meanwhile, i'm at work. the beautiful and talented alisa is at work. we're getting emails from the school. and phone messages. and updates. and more updates. eventually i stop answering the phone from numbers that look like they're from the school. b has a cell phone. he'll call me on that. unless of course it's in his pe locker. and he calls me from the bowling alley. which has a phone number very similar to the schools. so yeah, anywho. turns out the middle school student who "saw" the suspicious armed individual made it up. not sure why the high school also had a code red. they're several blocks away. code blue means lock the doors and sit tight until further notice. just as disruptive. but far less terrifying than a code red. meaning people are getting shot at the school. which wasn't the case. anywho. b gets reunited with his phone. and his lunch. he called me at work. and hung up after he delivered his one line message. dork. apparently he had to go to class. immediately. like still wearing his pe clothes. yeah. all in all a pretty exciting day. course the kid who cried wolf faces criminal charges. i think he should just get one swat from every person inconvenienced by his actions. that'd be thousands. 10 swats a day for three years aught to cover it.  ¶ 8:00 AM