Timmerov's Blog
acceptance
i'm not sure why allowing openly gay scouts is such a controversy. there have always been gay boy scouts. like since the beginning of scouting. you just didn't know about it. cause they were closet gays. who feared persecution. by an organization for which such persecution seems very out of sorts given the scout oath motto and law.
dumbness2
speaking of dumbness... i'm a big believer in truth in advertising. actually i'm a big believer in truth in everything. especially modal uac dialog boxes that make my computer stop booting up. java wants to do something. should we let it? and the computer will sit there forever. until i return from making breakfast and push the stupid box. it should say, java wants to install updates. the options should be: let it fail, ignore it, always ignore it. yeah okay. dismiss the box. wait. wait some more. okay now a balloon message pops up (as if my computer is a comic strip character) letting me know there's a java update available. and i'm a horrible irresponsible netizen if i don't install it immediately. it should say, there's a java update available. would you like to fail to install it? that's if oracle is a company slightly less evil than humanity is apathetic. if oracle were slightly less evil than we think we are good, it would say, a java update is available go to
this website to install it.
dumbness
i think there are very special hells for people who do really annoying things. like put a shortcut to their app on my desktop. wtf? if i wanted a fucking shortcut to their app on my desktop i'd make a fucking shortcut to their app and put it on my fucking desktop. sheehs. apple's the worst about this. cause they update itunes regularly. and every fucking update puts a fucking shortcut icon on my fucking desktop. so what? well, this is so what. to delete the fucking icons you have to click on them. hit delete. wait for the dialog box to pop up. what?!?!?!?! you want to delete this fucking shortcut icon from your fucking desktop!?!?!? awh! unbelievable! are you sure you want to delete this fucking shortcut icon from your fucking desktop!?!?!?!? click yes, i really do want to delete the fucking shortcut icon from my fucking desktop. then wait for the screens to go dark. and wait for the user access control box to pop up. somebody told me to do something. should i do it? yes. i really do want to delete the fucking shortcut icon from my fucking desktop. you stupid fucking computer. wait for the screens to undark.
hot diggety tub
a long time ago, i did some work for a startup that had no money. they wanted to know what i wanted. i said i wanted a bbq. but my soon-to-be-wife at the time wanted a hot tub. thereafter she's done all of the negotiations. so anywho. that was 20 years ago. and the hot tub got a few too many cracks. and needed to be replaced. no problem, right? ha! the flora in the yard grew a bit. so now it would be very difficult to remove the tub. and the fence was replaced. and the new spa is a bit bigger than the old spa. and wouldn't fit through the new gate. wee. so b took a sawzall to the patio bench. so now tubs and people can get from the patio to the back lawn. he wanted to take the sawzall to the new gate. but we said noooooooooooooooooooo. yeah i know. we never let them have any fun. so we hired a crane. which reached all the way over the house and picked up the old tub. we borrowed the neighbor's driveway. which meant the tubs went across the neighbor's house too. but the guy was a pro. dodged all the trees and wires. the activity drew a crowd of small neighborhood boys gaping at the heavy machinery.
presidents
the boys got their report cards in the mail this week. so i thought i'd grade the recent presidents. on a curve. in chronological order. starting with a president i can actually vaguely remember being president. nixon: opened the door to china. that's good. cheated during an election. that's bad. really bad. D. ford: pardoned nixon. that's bad. didn't otherwise fuck anything up. nor did he accomplish anything noteworthy. C. carter: the middle east fell apart. well, more so than normal. pardoned the shah leading to the iran hostage situation. and he seemed powerless to do anything about it. or was too busy saving the whales. sheehs. D. reagan: the hostages crisis ended the day he took office. he busted opec. that was awesome. set the us consumer economy on fire. and collapsed the soviet producer economy. lowered taxes for everyone. but more for the rich. raised taxes for everyone. but less for the rich. supply side economics took hold during his watch. that turns out to have been very very bad. he invaded grenada and panama. wtf? america felt really good about itself. C. bush the first: he handled the first iraq war masterfully. he set up the economic framework leading to a period of unprecedented prosperity. A. clinton: the economy boomed on his watch. he gets credit for not fucking things up. well, not in ways that should have been foreseeable. B. bush the second: handled the afghanistan war well. at first. but then gave up the hunt for bin laden to start another war in iraq. wtf? seriously. he should have been impeached and executed for being stupid. cases in point. he spent 10 years of savings in 6 months. and 9/11 hadn't even happened yet. he put the hammer down on the already discredited supply side economics. and the economy went absolutely nowhere. it worked for reagan because the saudis flooded the market with cheap oil. it failed for bush2 because the wars in the middle east drove oil prices through the roof. a very foreseeable outcome. F. obama: people love every part of obamacare. they just hate the whole. apparently the anti-obama propaganda machine is pretty awesome. no major fuck ups so far. B. i gave republicans ACCDF. and democrats BBD. which pretty much reflects my voting distribution. i wish more people gave more thought about who they vote for and why. sigh. timmer for president. hrm. wonder what grade i'd give myself.
pierdra
so i've been playing way too much puzzle and dragons lately. i signed in for n consecutive days. and they gave me 5 magic stones as a reward. cool. i spent them on one pull at the rare egg machine. kinda exciting actually. this is where the gods drop. i could get isis, 3x attacks. kicks ass. i could get zeus hera shiva ancient dragons etc. really powerful. you can understand my anticipation. i pull the dragon's claw and i get... wait for it... a clown dragon. blink blink. okay. what's a clown dragon? google it. hrm. a clown dragon. yeah, i can level it up to be a joker dragon. blink blink. huh. i could have pulled chiyome or sasuke or kotaro or hanzo. but no. i got the clown dragon. i hate this game. next rank i'm taking improved hating this game.
power word sit
juxtaposition is a fun thing. course this joke's gonna have a very very limited audience. i hurt myself at wrestling practice yesterday. came home and was crying about it. no sympathy from any of my family. thanks guys. somehow the conversation wandered around to how the beautiful and talented alisa hooked he. i was being a jerk. and she said she was going to knock me on my ass. and did. g wanted to know how exactly. seat belt and foot sweep. i sat down. out of the blue, b says power word sit. yep. that pretty much describes the situation exactly.
trouble cat
we knew there was something extraordinary about this cat when we first got him. his fur was waterproof. he'd happily stand out in the rain. and not get wet. yeah, okay. not your normal cat. when he was first exploring the big world of outside, we found him on the pergola. to this day we have no idea how he got up there. it's a wooden structure tall enough to stand under. and it's nearly 2 meters from the fence. the cats could of course get up on the fence. he must have made that jump when we weren't looking. we looked away and he was on the ground. he did the same thing with the roof of the house. we thought he was stuck. so we went to get the ladder. we're setting it up. and along comes trouble strolling across the ground. wondering what the heck is this big shiny thing. damn cat. caught him one day streaking along the ground through the rose garden. runs up the side of the house. jumps off. turns in mid flight. lands on the patio rail. runs along it. jumps up the post. climbs it. tags the bottom of the trellis. and then hangs there looking at us. like what? i'm parkour cat. yes. yes you are.
no trouble
i buried my kid's cat yesterday. the local animal control called with bad news. dancer had been hit by a car. dancer? who the fuck is dancer? oh. trouble. no one calls him dancer anymore. that was the name the humane society gave him when they registered the implanted rfid tag. sigh. his favorite spot was sleeping on the picnic table on the back porch. couldn't really bury him there. so we put him in the corner of the yard where the fences, sorry, the cat-ways, intersected. curled him up like he was sleeping. wrapped in a sheet. g added a rose. and we sealed the grave with tears. so anywho, the next few posts will be about that crazy cat. but not today.
corundum
apparently the rules of hockey are so inconsistent that the league officiating finds itself in a corundum. hrm. that almost sounds like it makes sense. but not really. corundum is aluminum oxide. a very hard mineral. add some impurities and you'd call it a ruby. add others and you'd call it a sapphire. pretty sure the author meant a conundrum. cause the league finding itself in a precious gemstone doesn't make any sense.
wrastlin
wrestling is the greatest sport ever. at practice the other day, my partner wasn't getting it. so the coach wanted to demo the move for him. on me. i went to throw a collar tie on the coach. and accidentally smacked him in the face. he immediately apologized to me. presumably for striking my fingers with his eyeball. and went on demo'ing the move. at which point i got a small case of the giggles.
