toilet we have a new toilet. there wasn't anything really wrong with the old toilet. it served faithfully for many years. long ago there was a big drought and the county was giving away free low flow toilets. so we snagged two. they were low end models. but perfectly adequate. 'til now. we also have a teenager in the house. a germophobic teenager. who doesn't go at school because germs. a teenager in the eating phase. like everything. more eat. more poo. a la kirchhoff's law. which he saves for the daily afternoon sprint down the hall. and apparently the old potty isn't up to processing the newer denser larger bricks. b was tired of plunging regularly. so he volunteered to help replace the toilet. i warned him it was going to be messy. and it was. the wax looks pretty gross. but i assured him it's really just wax. and not caked up fecal material. despite what it looks like. so anywho, we did our research to see what kind of potty we wanted to get. i found him giggling at a video of flushing rubber duckies and toy battleships. and i knew we had a winner. it doesn't have a flapper. instead it has something that looks like a missile silo. and jets at the bottom that vanish the waste in milliseconds. admittedly, it is kinda cool. not cool enough to wander around the house burbling happily to oneself and making fwooshing noises. unless you're a teenage boy. who's thinking he'll never have to fetch the damn plunger from the garage ever again. the younger brother likes it too. mostly cause the pot's bigger and harder to miss.  ¶ 8:00 AM